Just got back from the Bay Area after spending a week there after Burning Man and brought a nasty case of bronchitis with me. Best said by a friend "full-tilt burn followed by full-heart romance followed by full-blown break-up, dramatics all miles from home with varying levels of support that's a roller-coaster blender at the best of times and doesn't the body
love to follow-up with a stay-at-home snively sick tissue paper fest."

The good news is that I had such a nasty shower scene thanks to the steam loosening lots of goo that I don't want anything to do with cigs anymore. As I was violently coughing and nearly choking and almost crying I realized that in 20 years I could die like that. NO THANKS. Of course, I smoked 10 after that, but on the 10th I got so mad at myself I threw the rest in a glass of water and there they sit to rot.

Fuck those bitches.

So I guess it's cold turkey. I thought I would ritually destroy a cig every time I couldn't control the urge, thereby "having" one without having it- but I ended up smoking it. Duh.

There's a tribe called the Argon Method- which is interesting, and I suggest checking it out. At the very least his description of a nic fit is dead on. But I only agree with part of the method for me. I can have a cig anytime I want, yes, so I'm not going to. It's not punishment, it's reward. What I am doing is making a list of the reasons not to smoke (health, environment, financial, stinkiness, et al), and also a list of the people that it's most important to that I quit- complete with photos. These lists are being copied and posted in several key areas. I'm going to win this time.

I know Ryan will be here soon, and maybe his quit buddy will join him, so there will be at least three of us in here actively trying to support one another. I hope the rest of you come back and check in regularly. I want to hear stories- bad ones, good ones, real ones. I might even give you a more detailed description of the shower scene. This is serious business, and there's no room to be shy.